i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Text me some of your sweat
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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