do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Someone stole a lamp last night.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
