Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
