Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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