I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
