Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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