Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
So vagazzling was a success
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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