Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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