Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
im drinking this country out of the recession.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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