just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
