Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
