Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Sponge bath it is.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize