i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize