Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
