Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
