I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
