quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
i now understand why vodka
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
