direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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