Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
