you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
My vagina is officially offended.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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