I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
