I'm eating all of the evidence.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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