U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
