I just saw a hot homeless man
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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