Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
