Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I want to fling myself into the sun
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
