Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
