her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
