Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
do nipples grow back?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
