So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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