my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize