her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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