No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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