So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
