We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
She bit a glass in half.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
