Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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