I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
