I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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