Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
