so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
