Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Randomize
