dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
