The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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