Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Randomize