So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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