my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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