VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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