come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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