Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
