alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
