Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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