you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
