:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
His nipple licking is glorious
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