I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize