$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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