No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
