I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
jump out the window naked night went bad
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