I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
