I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
