And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
