I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
God I need to hump something, right now.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize