About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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