Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
