Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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