sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
false alarm. still invincible.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
